Everybody feels like [a misfit] at different points in their life.
If just like me am sure at some point in your life, you are told you are weird, somewhat unusual, not good enough and this would eventually lead you to questioning who you are, usually i find asking myself why i aren’t enough? Or wondering what’s wrong with who i am? And i did at some point in times go even further and wonder what else should i do to fit in?”
This is the internal monologue that I am sure each and everyone of us has gone through when we realise we are different from everyone and the world still tries to force us to fit into society.
And even if we know or even been told that what others think shouldn’t always matter and it shouldn’t be a valid reason to change who we are but have you ever had that one moment where you find yourself wondering if they are right, if you should actually try being like the acceptable version the world wants you to be, almost the whole of our lives is spent on thinking about the ways we can adopt that can make us “more acceptable to the world“by the people around us.
Is the constant struggle to fit in or to become more appreciated, liked and acceptable, the only option we are left with? Do we have any other choice? Let’s dive deeper into it!
It’s an unfortunate fact that the world we are living in is not a “world of diversity even if in today everyone claims to be all about diversity and inclusion ” for me sometimes it seems more like a “world of uniformity. The beauty of individuality, or diversity is lost in the struggle of trying to be the same as everyone else.
It’s a part of human nature to get gravitated by authenticity. But it seems like we are losing it day by day.
In life, everyone gets different opportunities depending upon the circumstances, experiences they face in their everyday life. And sometimes many of those opportunities or chances are wasted because we are afraid and even not ready to take stand for ourselves or what we believe in.
The fear of getting rejected by people who claims to know us even better than we know ourselves becomes an obstacle on the way to being our authentic selves and although this might seem unbelievable, but it’s a harsh reality that many of us are facing in our day to day lives. The constant peer pressure makes us do things or take steps that are totally against who we are. We suffer every day, with every passing second to achieve one thing: The validation or acceptance of society.
Deep down inside, everybody knows who they are or what they want to do with their life. But the voices coming from outside diminish the inner voice of their soul.
Changing yourself for others or trimming your edges to fit in the image that someone else has pictured about you in their head is probably the worst thing one can do. Why would someone do it? Will people be happy with the changed you?
The answer is a big “No.” Molding yourself or losing authenticity cant take you that far, I truly believe that you can never truly hide who you are at some point it will show .
So given the two choices of fitting in or standing out, most of the people choose to fit in or get blended.
As we all know growth can be scary and criticism can hurt, and opinions of the people around us matter to a point where we are too afraid of being called “ Misfits.”
Fitting in for the sake of blending in costs us our uniqueness, which I truly believe is the beauty of the human soul.
So What about the other choice? We can standout! We can be different because we are different and the beauty of individuality makes us unique and special and at the end of the day people do exhibit judgemental attitudes whenever someone decides to stand out, but here is good news for all of us there will come a point in our lives we will learn that not everyone’s opinions matter!
So Know yourself first, then stand out!
Some people decide to blend in only because they think they haven’t identified their values or what sets their soul on fire or who they truly are. They hardly have any clue about what they should exactly stand out for! The solution is straightforward! You don’t have to blend in. Brainstorm try different things, speak to people outside of your usual circle, think carefully about what inspires you, what is the meaning of life for you, Who are your role model? What sets your soul on fire? Then connect the dots, and slowly slowly build yourself, but remember this you have to be clear about what you should stand for!
Just be yourself!
Life is the sum of the conscious and unconscious choices we make every single day. Everyone has some flaws, and I do believe that there is always room for improvement. But improvement to satisfy someone else or trimming yourself or cutting your edges to fit in are two entirely different things. In cutting your edges, you will lose yourself in the process!
I say always be open to work on a better version of you, but never lose your genuine self in the process! Because at the end of the day your own self is the only thing that you truly have. everything else is given to you and can be taken away in a flash. So That’s all we have! Standout and never fear to be yourself! There is nobody like you, and this is your real power!
So Final Verdict!
People can never be pleased with whatever you do or whoever you try to become. In striving for others’ approval and validation, your true self is lost in the process and personally the cost of getting accepted, validated, and liked by society is personally to high for me!
It’s high because your genuine self is at risk. When a person blindly follows the path or directions set for by others, we inevitably not end up happy. So why not try being your authentic self, and if someone calls you “misfit, or weird” then welcome to the world of misfits!
For me Misfits, are those who dare to show the world their real selves, the pain, the struggles and the wins! Misfits, are those who can take stand for what they believe in. So Have the strength to take stand for yourself.
The decision is all yours to make!
This months lesson for me is don’t ever be afraid of criticism masked in the form of feedback or advice by people who genuinely don’t know who you are, and don’t overthink whether you are accepted or not whether in your personal life or professional one.
Following your heart or not is the biggest challenge we all have to face at some point in time, so I say live your life to the full extent because we all know that life is too short to be living someones life! Seize the day!
Have the strength to live the life that you have always dreamt of and do it by being your authentic self and in return it will attract the right energy towards you.
This year is all about living authentically in all my perfect imperfections.