Resolutions! We all make them. Most of us make them for the New Year. Long lists of what we want to change, learn, accomplish or create. It is good to make these lists, but I think it is imperative to have multiple checkpoints through the year to reflect on progress, failures and everything in between. For this year I thought I would share my lesson learned here, not only so others can possibly learn from my mistakes and successes, but also to hopefully inspire others to do some reflection of their own!
So now the summer is officially coming to an end. How did that happen! Time just flies, doesn’t it? Most of us don’t know where the months have gone. But September, in its own way, is a new beginning and it got me thinking this is the perfect time of year to reflect and course-correct.
What I’ve accomplished so far in 2019:
- I gave my first TEDx talk! I never in my wildest dreams imagined myself on that stage. Like seriously! After volunteering for them for almost 4 years I got to be on that red dot and share my idea that was worth sharing with the world.
- I kept a human being besides myself alive! Parenthood is the most exciting and amazing experience, but it is also scary. Especially if you are a new parent and even more so when you have to do it alone, so I am definitely celebrating this one.
- I became a more involved mother and spent more time this summer doing fun activities for my son and experience his joy and discovering his first train ride, walk in the woods, going to the zoo and discovering his first animals and so much more.
- Started writing again and publishing a new blog post every Thursday like I used to back when I was starting out because I believe that everyone’s story has to be shared because you never know who’s going to read that one post, that one line that’s going to change their life.
- Starting to get my finances in order so that I can be able to provide for my son and me a life where we will never be faced with another moment were we have the fear that we might end up being homeless hanging over our head, so that was a great motivator to get me to start looking for ways to start saving and investing (this took a lot longer than I would have thought.
- This year I decided to make a money move and specialize in a field that has always had my interest and I decided to begin my transition into the Cyber Security field thanks to @CyberwayFinder an organization that helps women get into the cyber sector with a three year program and working at a company to practice and learning during the three years and since January I have been brushing up on my Linux and python and has it been exciting to go back to the days where I am always studying and cramming my brain with new exciting technical skills.
- She Leads Digital wow where to begin, has been growing beyond my expectation and we are now working with the next generations of change-makers, teaching children and youth skills that are and will be useful in any subject, including critical thinking, inquiry, problem solving and creativity but we do not only focus on the technical skills but also make sure that your child(ren) get the time to work and engage with other children as they build, code and play together.
Though this year brought some seemingly insurmountable challenges, I must admit that am in a better place, mentally, physically and emotionally than I was at the beginning of the year, I feel freer and more determined. I still have those moments where I feel overwhelmed, but this year I did something I haven’t done before, I decided to seek help. I needed it. I needed to deal with and let go of everything that has been burdening me. You see, we all carry these heavy burdens on our shoulders and in our hearts and at some point, the weight of them becomes unbearable. Just carrying the burden becomes a full-time job. Then where is the space for anything else?
For me personally, I know that by going back to my therapist was the first step to liberating myself from the frustration, shame, and anger that I felt and carried for the past few months and even before that. And the best path to letting go of those burdens is by first finding a way to release our self from the burdens of regret, shame, and guilt no matter what the way it needs to be done!
Amazing things happened when I learned I could ask for help. People have gone above and beyond to help me adjust to my new life, friends, and colleagues that watched my son while I had to work late, helped me move and furnish my new home, they picked up the phone at ungodly hours because I was experiencing another panic attack or I just needed someone to be on the other line. And no words can express to you how grateful I am for every single person whether friend, colleagues, partner or strangers who went that extra mile in my hour of need and I hope that one day I can return the goodness to anyone who needs it.
Whatever you are carrying around your mind, shoulders and heart if you must seek help and stop hiding your tears; because we are all human after all
What About The Rest Of 2019:
A lot can happen in the next 4 months, so I am not putting too much pressure to accomplish the rest of the things I have planned for 2019. Remember not to put too much pressure on yourself, whether you are just starting out with your resolutions or doing a quick inventory. Big goals are good, but so are small goals and accomplishments. Be proud of everything you have done and learned and be enthusiastic about the small steps that lie ahead.
The first half of the year has taught me in life we will encounter different types of people or situations that just pass on by to teach us a lesson or give you gift that you had no idea you even wanted or needed and when they do finally leave well we usually find ourselves being in a point where we feel and believe that this is going to finally be the thing that leaves us being broken, and all advice you Is from what I have learned in my short life: You have no idea how stronger, more resilient, more determined we get when we have no choice I know this because every time I have found myself in the worst moment of my life, I was absolutely certain that this is was it, this was what was going to finally break me, yet every single time, without exception, every single time I find away to work things out and get myself back on track and every single time I came out that valley stronger with a positive outlook in life and at that time I remind myself “You See That Now Is Not Forever”.
I also truly believe that without the fights or dark valleys we go through in our life how would we ever appreciate the hard-earned fruits of our labor? It is one of those things that is very frustrating to hear when you are in a valley of your own, but it is true. Valleys have a lot to teach you. Valleys test your mettle, they cut you and polish you and most of all, valleys give you the appreciation you wouldn’t otherwise have for the good times.
So please don’t take any part of your story for granted because happening to because if you let it, it will lead you to a better and stronger version of you.
Being able to share with you my truth; good and terrible, I truly hope I inspire you to always keep striving and fighting no matter what the unexpected mystery of life throws your life. We tend to forget how strong the human spirit is but I like to say when someone asked me how do I go through what I go through and still stand up and keep on going “ well if you know my life story I believe that it’s too damn good to just end and die in another dark valley, I am not here by mistake and I am worthy”
I truly hope that by sharing my end of summer reflection and that it helped or inspired your own thinking?
And If you ever want the added accountability of sharing your thoughts, I encourage you to make sure we grab a coffee before the end of the year. And don’t forget you are worthy
Have fun enjoying the rest of 2019